I am thankful …
- …for bad drivers, as they encourage me to higher levels of creative expression within the English language. And if my kid is in the car, an enormous amount of self control.
- …for badly behaving children who remind me that my kid? Is an angel by comparison.
- …for incompetent people who allow me the opportunity to not only multitask but expand my repertoire of talents to do their jobs for them. This validates that being my own boss is not only awesome, but apparently necessary as I have no time for minions.
- …for having cats that are constantly in the way and/or underfoot. I now have the balance of a ninja ballet dancer, as I have successfully managed not to injure or take out any human or non-human member of my household while tripping, flailing, or teetering—occasionally with various kitchen or art studio utensils slicing through the air.
- …for stupid people, who give me something to marvel at every single day. Life would be boring without them. Also? I would have much less opportunity for sarcasm.
- …again for cats (sense a pattern here?) that drastically alter their eating habits the week of Thanksgiving, forcing me to make an emergency Target food run the day before the holiday—apparently something no strategic amount of planning can ever avoid.
- …for a husband who does not always listen, allowing me the experience of calling him at work in full meltdown mode.
Me: “Did you use any sugar last night?”
Him: “Yes, just a little bit.”
Me: “Um, a little bit? Did you not hear me yesterday when I said I had exactly enough to make the pumpkin pies WITHOUT going to Target? You used over HALF of what I need! I have the oven on, the eggs whisked, all the ingredients out except I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH SUGAR.” (The fact that I was still in pj’s had no bearing on my mood whatsoever.)
Him: “You said you were going to Target for cat food.”
Me: “Yes, but I was going to make the pies this morning, BEFORE going to Target this afternoon.”
Him: “Ok, it’s my lunch hour and I’ll zip over, get the sugar, and drop it off.”
Me: “Oh, you don’t have to go through all that trouble.”
Him: Click. (Yeah, he was slightly less than thrilled with me.)
I did not have the heart to tell him that what he wound up buying was in fact a 5 pound ice block of sugar—so hard I had to chisel and scrape to accumulate my 1 ½ cup of cavity inducing confectionary. My husband and I rarely have Conversations Fueled By Meltdown, so this right here? Shows me we are Modern Family normal–a personal victory in my book. May this Thanksgiving find you with many Modern Family moments.